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Daily Deviations by thorns

Literature by Nooryii

Writing by Humbug-liqourish


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Submitted on
November 17, 2012
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Please understand: I do not want
to want this (you).

I realized at poem nineteen-of-fifty:
You (college-borne) are a new you,
I (weaponized) am a new me,
and the new me still wants the new you.
I'm sorry. I thought maybe, after enough time, I would learn to move on, but I guess I was wrong.

I read exactly fifty poems you wrote while I was gone. If I still have to capture a surge of jealousy each time I read the word sex, or kiss, or hold, then I can't read those words anymore. If I still wonder whether any of the stories I read were about me, then I can't read those stories. If I still wish I had a chance, then I can't take one.

I'm sorry.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-01-08
Fifty by *zephyrtronium "portraits the inner struggle born from what you don't want to want, but still do in a very straight forwarded way," says the suggester. ( Suggested by lintu47 and Featured by thorns )
:iconcandyexorcist:
I've never seen anyone sum up that feeling (it really doesn't have a proper name, does it?) as succinctly, clearly and devastatingly as you have here. I hate saying something is fresh because it sounds so Hollywood, but this is: like a blast of cold wind, it wakes me up and shocks me back into feeling alive.

Scored you so high on vision because I know it's truthful (and on impact for obvious reasons); originality is hard to come by no matter what subject you take on, but you did a great job of keeping away from cliches, which also plays into the technique. The simplicity and brevity is just right: like you know it needs to be said, but it's too painful to linger on for long.

I'm sorry you have those feelings, but I'm also grateful that you've chosen to take them and turn them into a beautiful piece of literature that will remain in my mind for a long time. I'll be showing this piece to my friends, and I hope they're as struck and moved by it as I was.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
7 out of 7 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconrestlesssands:
RestlessSands Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013
after perusing your wonderful poetry, i keep coming back to the succinctness of this :heart:

such goodness! keep writing! :juggle:
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:iconzephyrtronium:
zephyrtronium Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hello! How are you today?
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:iconrestlesssands:
RestlessSands Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013
it's very friendly, but i have a sneaking suspicion you ask everyone this... 0.0' haha;)

you know what, today is just filled with :shamrock:s and :butterfly:s

:juggle:
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:iconaquaticcat226:
AquaticCat226 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
This makes my eyes tear up every time I read it.
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:iconzephyrtronium:
zephyrtronium Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That could be a sign that your vision requires correction. Have you considered seeing an optometrist?
Reply
:iconaquaticcat226:
AquaticCat226 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013
Hahaha! Doubtful. It's just very touching and makes me wander through some old memories.
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:iconzephyrtronium:
zephyrtronium Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That could be even more dangerous than poor vision. Although I'm fairly certain that it's less likely to cause car accidents.
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:iconsigma-echo-seven:
Sigma-Echo-Seven Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Student Writer
Interesting dichotomy between "college-borne" and "weaponized." I grokked the intent immediately. Well played.
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:iconzephyrtronium:
zephyrtronium Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm pretty sure that grok is one of the best words. Thank you for using it and also for reading. c:
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:iconmattsma:
Mattsma Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I understand this.....thank you for putting it into words :love:
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